Garnth reached around the jacked off the magazine and pistol grip at the same time. “Hear that boys? Botsy’s all lubed up and ready to go!”Įach of them stuffed his penis inside his gun, then began writhing against it. A moment later, a monotone voice came from a speaker in the side of the gun. The Bear’s gun became oily as he fingered it. It made a squilsh squilsh squilsh ! sound.Īs Cap looks on, the militia members prepare to join forces with their guns:Īll three of them raised their assault rifles, standing the guns on their butts and kneeling behind them. The Bear began jamming his pinky finger into the fleshy hole on top of the gun. He probably wouldn’t remember many of their names, but there were a few that had neatly trimmed goatees and all their teeth, and he couldn’t keep his cock from shifting as they asserted dominance with bone-crushing handshakes.īut, fittingly, it’s gun love that takes center stage in both the Twitter fiction and Delaney’s version.Īnd here’s Delaney, whose characters name their guns things like Madame Liberty and Little Miss Manifest Destiny, getting very hands-on with the man-on-gun action: Stephen Colbert has called the occupation a “ sausage party,” and in Delaney’s version, which takes place at the Bill Maher Memorial Wildlife Refuge, this concept gets taken to its full homoerotic potential with passages like:Įach man looked much like the one before: pale-skinned, bearded, pudgy, and glassy-eyed. “America! And something about land! And no more government! And the army killing jihadists and immigrants!” they shouted back. “A militia!” they shouted in the best terror-inducing voices. “A group of people using terror, violence, and threats to intimidate for political purposes!” the crowd returned. Delaney has a clear grasp of language that I can only dream about and deserves any success he can find.Īll that’s left is to calmly sit and wait for his next classic, hopefully featuring The Noid from those old Domino’s ads.Erotica author Leonard Delaney, who last year published Microsoft Word Clippy smut, has also gotten in on the current events erotica action with his e-book "Oregon Patriots Occupied My Butt ," in which hero Cap, dressed in a Captain America costume, stumbles across the militia, dressed in camouflage and led by “Aimon,” who are more than ready to stake their claim to good ole’ American values: If it’s written to be serious, even better. Absurd takes on the erotic genre that folks gobble up like Clippy probably gobbles up the ladies. Happens all the time, right? Conquered By Clippy is a short story “featuring sexual situations with digital assistants” written to be enjoyed by mature audiences, or at least an audience that can appreciate the finer points of tastelessness.īut who am I to judge? These personally read as comedic masterpieces. So when the world’s biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she’s all like “I’ll do it!”īut the artifact isn’t what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape. From the description:Ĭhristie Aackerlund doesn’t need help with anything. I think I’ve found my new go to example for when someone makes the mistake of bringing up “ Rule 34.” This particular tale comes from the mind of Leonard Delaney, the author of other erotica adventures including Taken By Tetris Blocks and Sex Boat, and it features a heated encounter with everybody’s favorite Microsoft Office helper.
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